双语幽默故事_儿童幽默双语故事
双语幽默故事由刀豆文库小编整理，希望给你工作、学习、生活带来方便，猜你可能喜欢“儿童幽默双语故事”。
24个双语幽默故事(七年级)第一篇
I’ve Lost 5 Dollars Little George was crying one day, and his uncle asked him why.“ I‟ve lost 5 dollars,” sobbed George.“Never mind,” said his uncle kindly, “Here
‟s another 5 dollars for you.” At which George howled louder than ever instead.“Now what is it?” asked his uncle.“I wish I‟d said I‟d lost 10 dollars!” 我丢失了五美元
一天乔治哭了，他叔叔问他怎么了。
“我丢了五美元。”乔治哭着说。
“没关系，”叔叔和蔼地说，“我再给你五美元。”但乔治反而哭得比刚才更大声了。
“这是怎么了？”叔叔问。
“我后悔刚才没有说丢了十美元。” 第二篇
The Cat And the Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.“What's in your box?” asked the friend.“A cat,” answered Mrs Brown.“You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared!This cat is to catch them.”
“But the mice are only imaginary,” said the friend.“So is the cat,”
whispered Mrs Brown.猫和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”
“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。第三篇
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两美分。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说，“再
给你两美分。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
第四篇
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home.At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now, he asked, “What's the meaning of the word „Drunk‟, Dad?”
“Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”
“But, Dad,” the boy said, “there‟s only ONE policeman!”
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”
“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 第五篇
Exchange the Tortoise for the Wolf
Teacher: Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise? Now, Xiaoming, will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise? Xiaoming: Because the hare fell asleep.Teacher: Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep? Xiaoming: Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.把乌龟换成狼
老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给乌龟？
小明：因为它睡觉了。
老师：对极了！我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢？
小明：把乌龟换成狼！第六篇
Why Did It Make You Late Mike was late for school.He said to his teacher, Mr.Black, “Excuse me for my coming late, sir.I watched a football match in my dream.”
“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time,” replied Mike.那什么会使你迟到呢
迈克上学迟到了。他对老师布莱克先生说：
对不起，我迟到了，老师。我梦见了一场足球赛。” 老师问：”那什么会使你迟到呢？”
迈克回答说：”因为两个队不分胜负，因此持续了很长时间。”
第七篇 Correct Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school? Jimmy: I don‟t know...Teacher: Correct.很对
教师：吉米，学生在学校里经常用的三个字是什么？
吉米：不知道„„
老师：很对。第八篇
A History Book
Teacher：Why are you drawing in your history book? Jack：I'm trying to make a mark in history.历史书
老师：你为什么在历史书上乱画？
杰克：我要试着在历史上留下痕迹。第九篇
Who Discovered America
Teacher: Pappu, go to the map and find North America.Pappu: Here it is!Teacher: Correct.Now, cla, who discovered America? Cla: Pappu!谁发现了美洲
老师：帕普，去地图前找到美洲。
帕普：在这儿！
老师：正确。现在，大家告诉我，谁发现了美洲？
学生：帕普！第十篇
Is He Dying A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so sad.The weeping one said，“The doctor has just told me I’ll have to take the tablets for the rest of my life.His friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life.“Sure,” came the reply, “but he only gave me ten.” 他就要死了吗
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流涕。
一个朋友走进来问他问什么如此伤心。那人哭着说：“刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里每天都要吃这些药片。” 他的朋友指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药片。“当然，”男人回答说，“但是他只给了我十片。” 第十一篇
He Knows the Answer
Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century? Pupil: Yes, sir, I can.They are all dead.他知道答案
老师：你能告诉我一些关于18世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？ 学生：可以，老师。他们都死了。
第十二篇
No Problem
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.“How can I help you?” asked the stylist.“I went for a hair transplant,”the guy explained, “but I couldn‟t stand the pain.If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I‟ll pay you $5 000.”
“No problem,”said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his own head.没问题
一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：
“有什么可以帮你吗？”那个人解释说： “我本来想去做头发移植，但实在太痛了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我就给你5 000美元。”
“没问题。”发型师说，然后他很快地给自己剃了个光头。第十三篇
A Driver
Aman drives his car at 130 miles per hour on the road.He is stopped by a traffic police.“Sorry officer,” says the driver, “Am I driving too fast?”
“No, sir.You are flying too slow,”the traffic police answers.司机
某人开车以每小时130英里的速度在公路上行驶，被交警拦住了。“对不起，警官。”司机说，“我是不是开得太快了？” “不，先生，你是飞得太慢了。”交警回答说。第十四篇
I Wasn’t Listening
Mother asked her little daughter who was reading a book.“What are you reading, dear?”
“Idon‟t know,”
the little girl answered, “Iwas reading aloud, Mom, but I wasn‟t listening.” 我没有听
女儿在大声读书，妈妈问：“亲爱的，你在读什么？” “我不知道，”小女孩回答说，“我在朗读，可我没有在听啊！” 第十五篇
Three Reasons
Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so！
三条理由
老师：斯通，说出三条理由来证明地球是圆的。
斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的。第十六篇
I Am Napoleon
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!” Another one said, “How do you know?” The first inmate said, “God told me!”
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, “I did not!”
我是拿破仑
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人大喊： “我是拿破仑！”
另一个说：“你是怎么知道的？”
第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”
这时，一个声音从另一个房间里传来： “我没说！”
第十七篇
The Lowest Grade
Student: Profeor, I did the best I could on this test.I really don‟t think I deserve a zero.Teacher: Neither do I.But that‟s the lowest grade I’m allowed to give.最低分
学生：教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零分。
老师：我也这么觉得。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了。
第十八篇
Best Reward
Anaval officer fell overboard.He was rescued by a deck hand.The officer asked how he could reward him.“The best way, sir,” said the deck hand “is to say nothing about it.If the other fellows knew I‟d pulled you out, they ‟d chuck me in.”
最好的奖励
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们 会把我扔下去的。” 第十九篇
The Fish Net
“Can you tell me what the fish net is made of, Ann?” the teacher asked.“A lot of little holes tied together with strings,” replied the little girl.渔网
“你能告诉我渔网是什么做的吗？安？”老师问道。
“把许多小孔用绳子拴在一起就成了渔网了。”小女孩回答。第二十篇
The Winner
A: Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.B: I‟m sorry, sir.It must have been in a fight.A: Well, bring me the winner then.赢家
A：服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。B：对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。A：哦，那给我打赢的那只吧。第二十一篇
The Choice of Word
One day, John was back home after work.He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old.She said “Daddy”to the baby many times.John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word “Daddy” to teach their baby.During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry “Daddy”.His wife said to him, “Darling, she is calling you.”Then she turned to sleep.选词
一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，反复对她说：“爸爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，因为他的妻子选择了先教孩子“爸爸”这个词。
几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸爸！”妻子对他说：“她在叫你，亲爱的。”然后翻身继续睡了。第二十二篇
Secret for a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.“Oh, you look so happy,” she says.“What‟s your secret for a long, happy life?”
“I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.”
“Wow, that‟s amazing,” says the woman.“How old are you?” “Twenty-six.”
长寿的秘诀
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
“噢，你看起来这么幸福，”那女士说，“你幸福而长寿的秘诀是什么？”
“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪的食品，而且从来不锻炼。”
“哦，真神奇，”女士说，“您高寿？”
“二十六。” 第二十三篇
The Doctor Knows Better
Aman was hit by a taxi in the street.He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor, “I think that he is very ill.”
“I am afraid that he is dead,” said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said, “I‟m not dead.I‟m still alive.”
“Be quiet,” said the wife.“The doctor knows better than you!” 医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞到后被送进医院。他妻子站在床头，对医生说：“我想他伤得很严重。”
医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话后，这个男人转过头说：“我没死，我还活着。” 妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。” 第二十四篇
Who Is the Laziest
Father: Well, Tom, I talked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question.Who is the laziest person in your cla? Tom: I don‟t know, Father.Father: Oh, yes, you do!Think!When other boys and girls are doing homework, who sits inthe cla and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, Father.谁最懒
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你一个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在写作业时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
英语笑话
（七）英语老师问一个学生，“How are you是什么意思”
学生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？”
老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思？”
这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。”
