英文小短文_英文小短文美文
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英文小短文
第一则：There is no doubt that happine is the most precious thing in the world.Without it, life will be empty and meaningle.If you wish to know how to get happine, you must pay attention to the following two points.First, health is the secret of happine(the key to happine).Only a strong man can enjoy the pleasure of life.Secondly, happine consists in contentment.A man who is diatisfied with his present condition is always in distre.第二则：As is well known, books teach us to learn life, truth, science and many other useful things.They increase our knowledge, broaden our minds and strengthen our character.In other words, they are our good teachers and wise friends.This is the reason why our parents always encourage us to read more books.Reading is a good thing, but we must pay great attention to the choice of books.It is true that we can derive benefits from good books.However, bad books will do us more harm than good.初中英语幽默小短文 Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He think,“This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,”I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?'' The cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.The people in the field see the fox.They cry,“Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,”Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,“The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.The World's Greatest Swordsman
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage.A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.The crowd cheered.Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.His blade came down in a mighty arcbut he will never be a father.”
A Mistake
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident.They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St.Peter explained that there had been a mistake.“Give me $500 each,” he said, “and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.”
“Done!” said the American.Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.“Where are the others?” asked a medic.“Last I knew,” said the American, “the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay.”
Pig or Witch
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.A woman is driving down the same road.As they pa each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells “PIG！” The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, “WITCH(女巫)！” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.If only men would listen.Response Ability
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee.When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, “It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity.”
Philosopher Bertrand Ruell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: “Of course not.After all, I may be wrong.”
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”
The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained.A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.“This Indian is incredible,” said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.However, after several succeful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.Finally the director sent for him.“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?”
The Indian shrugged his shoulders.“Don't know,” he said.“Radio is broken.”
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr.Robinson had to travel somewhere on busine, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air.He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat.He found all of them had already had been taken except for one.There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr.Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window;but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it.It was written in ink and said, “This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you.” Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane.The soldier, who was watching the paengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
