最搞笑的英文滑稽表演剧本_搞笑英文剧本
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The bank
Scene: The manager’s office in a bank
Characters: Mi D.Posit, the bank manager
Monica, Mi Posit’s secretary
Mr.Moore, a customer
A bank robber
Mi Posit is sitting at her desk.The robber comes in suddenly
Robber: Nobody move!
Posit: Of course, I am profeional.When I am working, I never move around.Robber: Read this.Posit: “Three tomatoes, four eggs and two cans of Coca-Cola.” You can get out, turn right, there is a Wal-mart.You will get what you want there.Robber: Oh, thanks.(The robber turns back and goes out.)
Monica brings Mr.Moore in.Monica: Mr.Moore.Mi Posit: Good morning, Mr.Moore.Mr.Moore: Good morning.Mi Posit: Thank you, Monica.Monica leaves the office.Mi Posit: Do sit down, Mr.Moore.Mr.Moore: Thank you.He sits down.Mi Posit: Now, Mr.Moore, the situation is like this.You account is overdrawn.￥10,000 overdrawn.Mr.Moore: Oh, good.He takes out his credit cards and shows them to the manager.Mi Posit: Mr.Moore, Mr.Moore, if you use your credit cards, you’ll be overdrawn more, Mr.Moore.The robber comes back again with a bag of grocery at hand.Robber: Nobody move!
Mi Posit: Can I help you?
Robber: That’s better.You-
Mr.Moore: Me?
Robber: Yes.Read this.He gives Mr.Moore a note.Mr.Moore: Oh.OK.Er…(Reading)“Three tomatoes, four eggs…”
Robber: No, no, no.The other side this time.Mr.Moore: Oh, sorry.Er…(Reading)“Give me all your…honey, or I’ll ki you.”
Robber: Not ki-kill!
Mr.Moore: Oh.Er…Mi Posit.I think this is for you.He gives the note to Mi Posit.Mi Posit:(Reading)“Give me all your money, or I’ll kill you.” I see.Would you sit down for a moment?
Robber: Sit down?
Mi Posit: Yes.I am very busy at the moment.Please sit over there.Robber: But-
Mi Posit: I’ll be with you in a moment.The robber sits down.Mi Posit: Now, Mr.Moore.You spend twice as much as you earn.Mr.Moore: But I earn ￥5000 a month.Robber: Excuse me!
Mi Posit: Yes!
Robber: I make ￥50,000 a month.Mi Posit: Really? Would you like to sit here?
Robber: Thank you.Mi Posit: Mr.Moore, would you sit over there for a moment.The robber and Mr.Moore change places.Mi Posit: Tell me… where do you keep this money?
Robber: Here, in this bag.He puts a large bag full of money on the desk.Mi Posit: Oh, oh, yes.Very nice.Um…would you like to open an account, Mr…?
Robber: Robber.Mi Posit: Well, just excuse me one moment, Mr.Robber.I’ll ask Monica to get the neceary papers.Robber: Certainly.Mi Posit leaves the office.Mr.Moore: Excuse me…
Robber: Yes?
Mr.Moore: You make ￥50,000 a month.Robber: Yes.Mr.Moore: How do you do it?
Robber: I rob banks.Mr.Moore: Oh, I see.You rob banks and steal the money.Robber: Yes.Mr.Moore: How do you do it?
Robber: It’s easy.First, you need a mask.Mr.Moore: Oh, nice, I have got one.Robber: Well, then you take a gun-
Mr.Moore: I haven’t got a gun.Robber: Oh…well, borrow mine.Mr.Moore: Thank you very much.Robber: You take a gun and you take a note.Mr.Moore: Oh, yes, the note.That’s very good.I like that.(Reading)“Three tomatoes, four eggs-”
Robber: The other side!
Mr.Moore: Oh yes.(Reading)“Give me all you honey, or I’ll ki you!”
Robber: “Money” and “kill”!
Mr.Moore: Oh, yes.Robber: You wear a mask, take the note, go into the bank, and put the note on the bank manager’s desk.Mr.Moore: Is that all?
Robber: Yes.Mr.Moore: I see.Monica comes back with papers.Monica: Ah, yes.Now, Mr.Robber-
Mr.Moore: Give me all your honey…money, or I’ll ki…kill you.Monica:(Scared)Money, Mr.Moore? Certainly.Take this bag.She gives Mr.Moore the robber’s bag.Mr.Moore: Oh, thank you.That was easy.Robber: Yes, but-
Monica: Mr.Moore, your account is still ￥10,000 overdrawn.Mr.Moore: Oh, yes.Well…um…Here you are.He gives here ￥10,000 from the robber’s bag.Mr.Moore: ￥1000, ￥2000, ￥3000, ￥4000-
Robber: But…but…
Monica: Thank you.Mr.Moore.Mr.Moore: Goodbye.Mr.Moore leaves.Mi Posit: Now, Mr.Robber, here is your account…
Robber: But…But…But…
Monica: Mr.Robber, Mr.VIP, Here is my telephone number, My name is Monica…
Robber: Just a minute!I think something’s gone wrong.Hey, you!Come back!Bring back my money-and my gun!Come back!
He runs after Mr.Moore.Monica: Hey, don’t forget to call me.
