《荆珂刺秦王》搞笑英语话剧剧本_搞笑英语话剧剧本
《荆珂刺秦王》搞笑英语话剧剧本由刀豆文库小编整理，希望给你工作、学习、生活带来方便，猜你可能喜欢“搞笑英语话剧剧本”。
《荆珂刺秦王》搞笑英语话剧剧本
介绍：Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.译：很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图通过疯狂的方式来表达疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客，被送往杀清，“嬴政”之王。但最后他失败了。你想知道发生了什么，在那个时候？好了，下一个节目会告诉你真相。
Action 1 太子丹（掏出镜子梳头，自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!)Thank u mirror!I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do? Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful，graceful，handsome，charming，cute，smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.太子：Oh yeah.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Mi LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO.1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as poible, OK? 阿三：Yes.译：
太子丹：魔镜，魔镜，告诉我，谁是最美丽的人在世界上？（画外音：是你，太子丹）感谢你镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是一个嫉妒的人，我觉得他会杀了我，如果魔镜告诉他真相。我很害怕。所以，我能做些什么？我的牧师在哪？ 阿三：亲爱的，我来了。
太子丹：我一再告诉你，你应该叫我“我最美丽的，优雅的，英俊，迷人，可爱，聪明和最亲爱的太子丹！”
阿三：当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找到一个英雄杀嬴政
太子：噢。什么是本世纪最昂贵的商品？ Talent！好主意！但是，谁是合适的人选？
阿三：筛选后，我有这样两个前途的人。一个是李莫愁小姐，另一个是金科先生。明天他们将PK世界的NO1杀手。
太子：嗯，尽快给我赢家，好不好？ 阿三：是的。
Action 2 荆轲 Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荆轲 OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁 Are you challenging me? 荆轲 Of course!李莫愁 Come on!音乐起，两人冲上前来：“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊...”李莫愁倒地，荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we? 李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑 太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指美女，激动状): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say OK, she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM中国传统的MM。
太子丹：我要告诉你的王牌。女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。这是联合利华中国的一个全新的产品。荆柯：减肥茶！我一直梦想着它的几千倍。我的妻子总是威胁要离开我，如果我不能减轻我的体重。
阿三：你想要什么？说起来，如果你想要的！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你的眼睛是充满诚意的，我很高兴，你还是得说出来。拿去！你真的喜欢？真的吗？你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗......荆柯（诚恳状）告诉我该怎么办？我会为你做任何事情。太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）是啊！
Action 3 荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will mi you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!荆珂(流泪)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopele...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）
妻子:“I promise.” 荆轲:“Never let go.“
妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go." 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life aurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.译：
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹，阿三在后。阿三：英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。
荆珂：刚才讲到这里，谢谢。别了，我的朋友 太子丹：我会想念你，宝贝。荆珂：亲爱的，我爱你。
妻子：我爱你！你比在这整个世界的任何更多的意思给我！荆珂：我爱你。虽然你和我和纸上谈兵要我们身边片，我爱你。妻子：嗯。是一个男人，做到这一点！我就在这里等着你。
荆珂：亲爱的！你要帮我这个荣誉...答应我，你会活下去...你永远不会放弃...无论发生什么...无论多么绝望...现在答应我，决不放手的那个承诺。妻子：“我保证。” 荆轲：“绝不放过。”
妻子：“我保证我不会放弃的，杰克，我永远不会放过。” 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：这是一个很好的一天死亡。不再回来。从来没有......从来没有......妻子：非常感谢你。当我得到的寿险$1000，000，我将它的一半，$50万转移到您的帐户。阿三：还好还好！
旁白：那荆轲被送往秦国最后由嬴政杀死。
