丑小鸭和我英语剧本_搞笑英语剧本带翻译

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From the people who brought you Eddie, 'the dumbest mouse in the world'.And his lovely wife Michelle, 'the mouse-eating python'...Ratso entertainment proudly presents, Wesley

'The longest worm in the world'!

Waste of time!

B...But, Guys, guys, come on!Guys, just guys, guys please, please, don't go there's so much more to see.It's all rubbish

-Nice show, Wes.What?!You can't quit now，-that was your best show yet!Huh!Then find someone else.Someone else?!But you're the only friend I've got!

I've got news for you Ratso, you don't have any friends.You don't mean that, you're just high on your own succe!Some day you'll thank me, buddy.-Hello Ratso.Show's over, Ratso.None.Little busy!

-Mee ow!You'll be sorry, Ratso!

I'll never work for you againForget the city，I saw it Wes, I saw the carnival, it was beautiful!

Don't you get itAnything.-What is your problem?!What?!Yeah, I'm thinking solid gold.A-a-a...!

a-a-a...!

Ratso? Hello!Ah come on, it stinks in here!

A-a-a...!

Wesley?

Okay, that's it，You've meed with the wrong rat

What!Are you laughing in there?!Okay, let's do this thing.They're such a joy at this age.Shut up!Now who are you and what do you think you're doing with that egg?

I'm Ratso and...-and I've forgotten the second half of your question.Any-who, it's been a real pleasure......stay beautiful.Taxi!Aw!

I seem to be having some trouble......finding the door.But what if he's an egg thief?

Egg thief?!Me? No, you've got it all wrong.I'll be honest with you honey, can I call you honey?

-No!I didn't.My beautiful lady wife...Frank...en...zilla.Frankenzilla.May she waddle forever in the big duck yard in the sky.Laid this egg moments before she...before she...I can't say it!

Why, Why her?

Her last wish was...that our baby would be brought up in the duck yard she was raised in...-the city is no place for a little one.I remember her.Yeah.Nice girl.Feathers, wings...-terrible taste in men.HmmUh...-Ah!He's the father alright.Now you run along Ugly, they'll look after you here.And you, call me Ratso.'No way out'?

We'll see about that.I gotta find Wesley.They haven't made a duck yard that can hold Ratso!

At least I don't think they have...-it's never really come up before.Just stay out of my way and everything will be fine.Number...What's wrong with your face? You look uglier than usual.What are you doing?!

What's wrong with you?!

What do you want from me?!Oh, that's so sweet, you're really good with him.-Would you like to keep him?That? It's a hole...for baby.Thought I'd make him a nice hole to sleep in for the night.There's an empty paint can by the coop.-...You could get some straw and stay in that.Good night.Somebody likes me!

...and all the little pixie children began to smile...for each daughter was prettier than the next......and the prince, with hair of gold and feathers so fair, went to find her true love...So she says, 'But Ratso, this is only our first date'!

And I'm like, 'listen sugar lips，why wait for Christmas when Santa's right here on the dance floor?'

Mama!

-Ratso.My name is Ratso.Mama!

-Say Ratso, damn it!-Wow!Can I come?Couldn't you at least call me Dad?

Now go play by the water's edge，I've got some cleaning up to do.Wow!?

-Pretty beautiful, huh?children can be so cruel.Calling him a freak, I mean really.Well let's face it, he is something of a freak but that doesn't give anyone the right to say so.And it's hardly his fault with a rat for a father.Not that anyone believes he really is his father.He's a rat for goodne sake!

But that's nobody's busine.Dad?

I'm sorry, did we wake you?

Whoa!I just had the wildest dream!What does it mean when a penguin eats your hat?

Eeh...Is that stre?

There are certain members of the duck yard......who've have had enough of you and your boy

and this unsightly me.It's a monstrosity!

Eh actually...-It's...a mountain.Yes.We decided to build our own view.-Tomorrow we're making a lake.But we just finished digging our

Digging your what?

Teeth...into the show!Tonight was gonna to be the night!

-What show?We just thought, 'hey!Let's give something back!'

You know? It's what showbiz folk do.Our little way of saying thanks.Oh I do like a good show!

All chickens do.Can't we have just one little

And the kid's got talent!

Now that's hot!I can't stand it!Whoa, you're killing me!

Ta-da!

Now that's what I'm talking about!

It's raw, but it's there!

-Oh, he's very talented.I can't see.-Where is he?Get on with it I've got eggs to lay

We want the show.-Tough yard.Well not from the front!

-You look like your mother from the frontlike a duck.-I do?That's my boy.Now let's get out there and show them our stuff.Hey thanks.But we don't need luck.I do.-Are you sure this is a good idea?Come on Mom!Hurry up!

Good luck.-FinallyHow come I've got stuck with the most annoying brothers in the...Well, well...what do we have here...?

I give you...Ugly!

No hard feelings kid.Has he started yet?

Oh, get on with it.The point is, I found it.-You didn't find it, you fell in it.Boo, boo, you're rubbish!

That's one of Ratso's shows alright.Stan, you stay here and guard the tunnel.-Maybe he's already gone.Eh I got a question.-...guarding it.Ratso?Wait? Hurry up Stan，You want him to get away?!

Doesn't she ever give up? Let's hope she doesn't know about the carnival.I AM NOT GOING TO THE CARNIVAL!

What a freak!

That has to be the ugliest duckling in the world.'The ugliest duckling in the world'?

-How could I have been so stupid? He's perfect!Forgot you?

Don't be silly my little gold-mine，-I'd never forget you!Step right up!Silence, worm!

I'm looking for Ratso and you're going to tell me where he is.He...he was going to a carnival!I think he's bringing some kind of duck.Which way?

-They went that way.What's a carnival?!

How can I put this...It's only the greatest place in the world!

-Woah!Your cousin would do that for us?

-Wow, he sounds like a true friend.You don't have to be scared of the woods.They can't hurt you.-It's the things that live in the woods you should be worried about.Help!

Aagh!Ssh!No not like that like this

-“help me”Okay.Dad, I've been thinking about the carnival.-Are we really going to be famous?Yes, but...they never got to see you dance.You've got a dancer's physique.Just like your Mom.-My Mom was a dancer?Yes!

-But but I can't!How many?

-Eh Two?No she didn't，she said “Leave me...”

I can see how you were confused.Ugly?

-Here comes Ratso the ruthle!a foxy vixen!

Okay, you're just the smallest bit...I don't know...chunky around the hips?

Not a lot!But, you know, a little.I was the same way and you know how I lost it?

I completely cut out snacking.If you don't eat us, this could be you.Please don't eat me!

You can'tHm, did I say something?Yes.-I didn't say something like...'hey guys, why don't you take a break?'True，although I still think the sword fight sounds better.But we can work that out on the way.-I'm just an ugly freak.'That's the point'?

Of life!That's the point of life!

If everybody was the same the world would be a very boring place, right?

Anyway, you're not as different as you might think.-Deep down, everybody'sNo, everybody's ugly.You see, beautiful people spend all their time trying to stay beautiful.But beauty's a paing thing.heir lives on hand cream and early nights.It's guys like you and me that have all the fun.-I still don't get it.Don't hold your breath, kid.Growing up isn't something that happens overnight.-Who are you!?Sure!I don't know.-Well that's not annoying.Now what?

-You wouldn't understand.Exactly!

-You've changed.You are soooo embarraing!

I see.And what if I told you, you weren't allowed to fly until you were sixteen?

-I think I know what's wrong with you.Yeah，I've seen this kind of thing before, even happened to me once.You've turned into a teenager.This is all I need.-What's wrong with being a teenager?But DadBut...Typical teenager!Prime of your life and you just lie around the place.But Dad, I don't know how to be a teenager.It's easy.Just speak funny, be rude to your parents and fall in love with the first girl

who smiles at you.-Hi!O-oy...It's you...?

Jee.And look who's all grown up.-Cut it out, sister.I'll bet.Does it hurt? Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up.-Geoff, right?Let's go, Ugly.I...I was wondering, you see my family have already flown south for the winter and well.do you think I could tag along with you two for a while?

-Oh That would be great.You'd only slow us down.-Come on!-Woah!Woah!I was talking to me.You can tag along but I'm calling the shots here.-But IFine!

-Ha, It looks pretty thin.But we're heavier than you.In that case

-...we're definitely not going.-You have to!Why!

Because, because...?!

Aaagh Okay, fine, I'll do it!

But I'm warning you, if anything happens to me you'll be heartbroken.Sending his own father out onto an icy death trap

I'm really going to do this you know!

-Sure you areDad!

-Ugly!Well...-...I gue so.It...it was?

it was?

Are you kidding?!First you save my life and now Ratso's!

-It's not such a big deal...I just...I used the bridge.I tried to tell you.Eh.Excuse me.Look!

-It's nice that you let Jee rest while we get the wood.I wish the fox had eaten her.I like her too.-How do you like your sling? Is it okay?If you can't dance in front of me

then how are you going to be able to dance in front of an audience?

Well...okay here goes.Yeah, come on, whoa

You are too funny.You're serious.No wait，I didn't mean to laugh!I just wasn't expecting something so...I just thought you would be le...I think the word you're looking for is 'ugly'.nice going, Jee.So, how are you kids this morning? Sleep well?

-You couldn't be happier, could you?You know exactly what I mean，-you've been trying to turn Ugly against me sinceWhat?!

Let me see.So far you've broken your wing, his heart, and my blanket.I broke his heart?!You're the one who told him he could dance.What were you thinking? He's going to look like a freak up there!

-But you already know that, don't you?How can you say that?!

-You're all he's got...he trusts you.Don't go Ugly!Dad!

-Don't poke me!Ugly, come back!

Now look what you've done!

-Ugly!That hurt.-The carnival.No, Ratso.The carnival!

UGLY!We did it!

-Come on Ug!Let's roll!No it's mine!

-Get out of me road!No, no it's right.No, no go on.Hey fellas!You know where I could find Ernie?

Who wants to know?

-Yeah, but who are you?Hello Ratso.-Happy to see me?Ugly, no!

Uhh...-Nice try.Oh They've got him mad now!

Yeah I'm talking to you!Fat

Fight fight fight!

Fight fight fight!

Ratso!

Come on Bird!FLY!

Come on you've got him now.He can't get away.Bad pu-pu!Bad pu-pu!

Ratsooooooo!

Ratso?

-What gives, Ernie? Eat him!What!?

Ernie?

-Cousin Ernie?Take it easy there big guy!

How can a rat be related to a cat?

Yeah OK, here we go!

-Hmmm It's obvious.Not that!We don't need to get to

We don't need to get to

Ah This is nice.It's been so long since I've had family around

I thought I was going to go crazy.Ask William, he'll tell you.-Tell him yourself, fatso.Are you sure we're related?If that's your cousin, I'm your mother!William!

Ah, here we are.Tonight we'll give them a show they'll never forget.-Tonight?and I wonder why...oh yes!

-You're a no talent bum!I know what you're thinkingThat's fur?!

-You don't have to do this you know.What do you care!

-You're the one who laughed at me!I'm on it!

That's settled then.Stan, go and make the arrangements.I have busine to attend to.-He ah!Pretty unbelievable.I would have given up a long time ago if it hadn't been for you.Whatever happens here I've got you to thank.Listen Ugly, about the show...Ha, ha, how do I look?

And have we got a show for you, tell the people what they want to hear, William!

Oh It's big, it's horrific, it's hilarious and it's here!

And there's only one guy we have to thank for that，please welcome my very own cousin，and I'm not going to lie to youYou're up, RatsoHe's ruining everything!

-Ernie, I'm starting to panic!I'm going on.That has to be the ugliest duckling in the world!

ugliest duckling in the world!

Is that why you brought me here? For people to laugh at me?

-No!Yes.I gue I'm stupid and Ugly.NO!

-UGLY!If you ever want to see your freaky friend again，Ratso, you'll find us at the duck yard.-Your crazy cat can't help you there!Yeah!

Yeeee-ha!

giddy up, giddy up!

Ernie?

-Just go ahead, I'll catch up with youHelp us!

-Come on We'll have to swim for it.What?!William, you're a genius!

-Hurry!I really don't think you're in any position to give ordersErnie!

Am I happy to see you!

Well shave my legs and call me prince, it looks like we've got ourselves a fight!

Attack!

Come on, put em up!put em up!I'll take a piece of you!

-Yes!Yes!It's not good.I gue by tomorrow it'll all be over for me.-There's, there's something I have to tell you.I'm not sure.But it didn't seem to matter.You were a father to me.And if this is going to be our last night together, I don't want to waste a second of it.Talk to me, Ratso.It's time.Dead rat walking!

Dad...-On your kneesOh There's no pleasing some people

Wait

Stop the execution!

Execution? This isn't an execution.Uh!Ratso...you're getting married?!

-Ugly...?!You're a swan?!I don't think I can.-I don't think I want to.It was supposed to be my special day.She forced me into it!

She never loved me!

-Is this true?Oh, shut up!

There's more to marriage than love!

There's the ring!

There's the cake!There's the flowers!And there's gifts!Millions of gifts!

-Now...MAKE ME MARRIED!Uh-huh.-You've got kids?!MALESTRINGSRatso!

Dad? Are you okay?

It's time to come home，-time to join your own kind.Your place is with us now.But...I can't just leave.I'm not like you, I'm...different.It matters not that you were born in a duck yard......not when you have lain in a swan's egg.Goodbye Dad.Goodbye...son.Me...a swan.You'll soon forget all about them.-But what if I don't want to forget?True.-But until they're discovered, you should come with us.Hmm.Thanks guys, but I've got to go.-Eh? Ugly you're back!Sure.A wedding is poibly the greatest place ever to meet a girl.So what are you doing talking to me?

Am I to understand that this thing's already been paid for?

-You came for a party, right!-Yes!

Well what are we waiting for? Lets party!