英语脱口秀台词_英语单人脱口秀台词

2020-02-28 台词 下载本文

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脱口秀不单单只有中国人会欣赏,人家老外也爱听,一起来看看以下的英语脱口秀吧。

Hi, everybody.Hi!So I don't have too much time up here, before my green card expires.See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China.The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement.And the students were required to bring bricks to school and...We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road.Years later, I heard about the term: child labor.I was like, what?!Those kids got paid?!

嗨,大家好啊!嗨!那个……我能表演的时间不多,因为我绿卡马上要过期了。我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路,铺上砖头和水泥,让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。多年以后我听说了这个词:童工。我立马就惊讶了,啥?!那些小孩干活还有钱拿?

I got a D minus.But I read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more.They can only read the digital ones.I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? It's gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 o'clock.I can't stay that long.

我拿到的只是D-。我看报道,如今的小孩都不会看手表了。他们只能看懂电子表。我心想,等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊?别人说,“辣妹在三点钟方向”。我不能待那么久的。

So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department.Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no.I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey Joe, NO means NO.I said, well...it also means Nitric Oxide.

我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次,我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次,我约女孩子出去,她说不行。我问,真不行啊?她说,嘿,Joe,NO就是不行的意思。我说,NO也是一氧化氮啊。

And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.Here's something you guys should know about me.I don't approve of nudity in public.But when it happens, I want to be there.

有一年,我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。对于我,你们要了解一点,我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。不过要是真有人这么干了,那我不能错过啊。

And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language cla.And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students' names.So he just handed out a list of American names for us to choose from.And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I just picked Joe instead of Jake.And the other day, I told that story to my son, Jake.

我初到美国时,参加了英语培训课程。我们老师特别懒,记不住学生名字。于是他就给了我们一张美国名字表,让我们选名字。等我拿到表时,只剩下俩名字了,所以我就选了Joe。我选了Joe,另一个是Jake。有一天,我把这故事讲给我儿子听,他叫Jake。

So my son is four years old now.But he still has a lot of growing-up to do.Sometimes I look at my son, I was like, wow, this gentleman contributes nothing to society.And I have to pretend that I'm impreed by everything he does.I was like, wow, you walked half a block by yourself? That's amazing!But in the back of my mind, I was like, big deal!When I was a kid, I built a road!

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我儿子现在四岁,不过,他还远远不够成熟。有时,我看着儿子心想,哇哦,这小伙子对社会一点贡献都没有。但我还得装作他所作的事都很了不起。我说,哇哦,你自己走了半个街区?太棒了!其实我心想,这算啥啊!老子小时候修了条路!

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