搞笑英文话剧剧本(三打白骨精)_三打白骨精的英文剧本

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搞笑英文话剧剧本

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧

B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆

B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map!E:(摸出，递给S)

S: Look,master(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T:(缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing!Map?

E:(递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)?

E:(软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!

T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1:(接近三人，望着)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand.Come in and teachme!(准备开电网门)

S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……

T:(气愤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T:(呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B:(真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a leon!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)

S:（咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch!Don't mention that guy any more!

B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:（惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance

into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S;Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N:(摇醒B)You are under arrest.(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!(歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah......Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year

go on.You wonder where the road is.The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet.....英语话剧剧本The Bus

A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui Boy B,Old woman, Scene One

(Three female students are chatting on a bus.Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof.Two boys are sleeping in their seats.Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on.She looks at the seats.Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)

Old woman: There're no empty seats.I gue I'll have to stand.(The female students find the old woman not having a seat.They want to help her find one to sit in.)

Female student A: We should find a seat for her.Female student B: Right.Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.(The two boys continue to sleep.)Female student C: We should find a seat for her.Female students A & B: Yes.(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep.Female students A and B look at each other.Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)Female Student B: Hey!Can you give your seat to that old lady? Boy A:(wakes up)I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album.I'm very tired.I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady.(continues to sleep)Female student C: What should we do? Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.Boy B:(gets up suddenly)Ah!All:(startled)Ah!Female student B: What happened? Female student C: Why did you scream? Boy B: I had a nightmare.It was terrible.Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy B falls asleep.)Female student A: Hello!Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady? Boy B: Let me sleep, please.I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep.Can you let me sleep for a while? Female student A: Well, we've tried.Female student B: The young man is really brash.Old woman: Thank you, young ladies!I'm OK!Don't think I'm an old woman.I am healthy.(makes a few kicks like a young man)

Female student C: Maybe we worry too much.The old lady's very healthy.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over.It makes Boy A wake up.)

Boy A: Oh!Are you OK? Old woman: Oh!Oh!My waist!

Boy A: You can take my seat.(helps the old woman to the seat)Female student C: Hmm.He just got his conscience.Female student A: Yeah!I was just about to say they got no manners.Female student B: Yeah.I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.Boy A: Hey!Watch your own manners.I've given her my seat.I'm really very tired.(At this time Boy B is embarraed.He dares not continue to sleep.)Old woman: Thank you, young man.I'm old and usele.Boy B: Don't say that.If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again.Boy A falls down.)Scene Two

(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats.Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing.The three girls continue to chat.Boy A is drowsing carelely and bumps into Female student A's body.)

Female student A: Oh!Who touched me?(turns her head around and sees Boy A standing behind her)It's you, right?

Boy A: What? Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you? Boy A: Wait.I didn't do anything.Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right? Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person.(looks at Boy B)Hey… Is it you? Boy B:(confused and shakes his head)Not me.I was sleeping.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again.Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)Female student A:(angry)Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!Boy A: I didn't mean it.Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past.Boys in the past were all very polite.Now boys are reckle.Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her.Hurry!Boy A: Alright!Alright!(to female student A)I'm sorry.(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)Boy A: It's not my day today.Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women.And she's no nice woman.Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper.Time really changed.Boy B: Older people know more than us.Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day.For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.(Boys A and B don't know what to say.Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake.The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)Female student C:(surprised)You.....(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)Old woman: You have nice hips.Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harament.Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.Female student B: Ah!Here we are.Let's get off.Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.(Female students get off the bus.)

Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange.(helps the old woman up)Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.Old woman:(feels Boy B's hand)You also have a pair of very fine hands.Boy B:(startled)What?

Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.Boy B: Let's go!

Old woman: Don't be shy, young man.I have held such kind of hand for a long time.(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)Old woman:(looks at Boy A)You're nice, too.Boy A: Hmm, good-bye.(gets off).