幽默短文_比较幽默的短文
幽默短文由刀豆文库小编整理，希望给你工作、学习、生活带来方便，猜你可能喜欢“比较幽默的短文”。
幽默短文又连贴了（哈哈）
Mr and Mrs Smith married thirty years ago........2001-08-24(408 reads)[1 comment]
Mr and Mrs Smith married thirty years ago, and they have lived in the same house since then.Mr Smith goes to work at eight 0'clock every morning, and he gets home at half past seven every evening, from Monday to Friday.There are quite a lot of houses in their street, and most of the neighbours are nice.But the old lady in the house opposite Mr and Mrs Smith died, and after a few weeks a young man and woman came to live in it.Mrs Smith watched them for a few days from her window and then she said to her husband, 'Bill, the.man in that house opposite always kies his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kies her again when he comes home in the evening.Why don't you do that too?'
'Well,' Mr Smith answered, 'I don't know her very well yet.'
回复： 幽默短文又连贴了（哈哈）
There were men soldiers and women......2001-08-24(390 reads)[No comment]
There were men soldiers and women soldiers in an army camp, and every Sunday morning they all went to church, but a lot of the soldiers did not like it much.There was a choir of men soldiers, and Captain Jones was trying to find women soldiers to sing in it too, but none of the ones in the camp offered to do this.Then one day Captain Jones saw a new girl soldier.She was a tall, very beautiful girl.Captain Jones went to her and said, 'Will you come and sing in the choir at our church, please?'
The girl was very surprised and said, 'But, sir, I can't sing at all!' 'Oh, that's all right,' answered Captain Jones.'That doesn't matter at all.You don't need to sing: I only want someone to keep the men soldiers looking in front of them when they are in the church.'
The Benefit of Knowing Another Language
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Two mice(pl.老鼠)sat in their hole watching Cat lurk outside.“I know how to
make Cat go away,” said the first mouse.“How?” the second mouse asked in surprise.“Watch!Bow, wow！!” barked(吠叫)the first mouse.Peering(凝视)through their hole in the wall, they saw Cat running away in fear.“Ah, see the benefit of knowing another language
Frozen Parrot
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David received a parrot for his birthday.This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.Every other word was an expletive.Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least rude.David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example...Nothing worked.He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse.He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer.For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking, and screaming-then suddenly there was quiet.David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: ”I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and action and I ask your forgivene.I will endeavor to correctmy behavior.“
David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: ”May I ask what the chicken did?"
挨冻的鹦鹉
戴维生日时收到了一只鹦鹉。这只鹦鹉态度恶劣、言辞粗俗，而那些不是脏话的至少可以说是粗鲁无礼。
戴维竭尽所能想改变鹦鹉的习惯，于是坚持一直说文雅的话，放轻柔的音乐，以及任何他所能想到的来尽力作出一个好榜样。
但一切无济于事。他朝着这鸟儿咆哮但只使事情更糟。他拼命摇晃鸟儿，鹦鹉就更加愤
怒和粗鲁。
最终，在一阵绝望过后，戴维把鹦鹉送进了冰箱。过了一会儿他听到鸟儿在抱怨，乱踢，还尖叫——接着突然安静了下来。
戴维给吓到了，他怕伤到了鸟儿赶紧打开冰箱门。鹦鹉镇静的踱上戴维伸出的手臂说：对不起，我的话语和行为可能冒犯了你，我请求你的原谅。我会尽力纠正自己的行为。”
戴维惊讶于它态度的急剧变化，正要问是什么导致了如此惊人的改变，鹦鹉却继续问道：“我可以问一下那只鸡做过什么吗？”
Heading for Heaven
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A man is waiting for wife to give birth.The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.The son is just a head!But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compaion.After 21 years,the son is old enough for his first drink.Dad takes him to the barand tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.Swoooop!A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent
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