野孩子剧本_野孩子

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Wild Child script

Shit.Shit.POPPY: Molly? Molly.-Molly!Poppy!

All right, guys.Let's give my dad's girlfriend the perfect Malibu welcome.Everyone, help yourselves!

(ALL WHOOPING)

You can keep it, or you can throw it away!Let's go, you guys.You can keep that.GIRL 1: I want the bouncy ball!POPPY: You get those.We don't need them.-All right, let's get rid of it!Out, out, out.Let's go.Come on.Out, out.That is the final straw, Poppy.You are going to England.-Let's go.She is sad.(SCOFFS)Seasonal affected disorder.Depreion due to lack of sunlight, resulting in acne and weight gain.-POPPY: What?Oh, my God!

“Abbey Mount School is an independent boarding school

-”for girls aged 11 to 17.“Yes, thanks.MRS KINGSLEY: Very good.Mr Moore? I'm Mrs Kingsley.Oh, please, call me Gerry.Thank you.I am so grateful.-I'm happy we could help out.Hi.-Good holiday?Hi.How are you?

Wow.GIRL 1: Who's she? GIRL 2: Wow.Is she new?

-Wow.I already have a sister.It's just school lingo.I'll be your friend, a helping hand, that's all.Okay, but I choose my friends, and FYI, you don't make the cut.I'm sure that comment would sting a lot more if I knew what FYI meant.But, for the moment, let's just pretend it's had the desired effect, shall we?

Saddle up, girls.We've got ourselves a bronco.Mrs Kingsley, a gift.One for you and one for Freddie.Oh.-Thank you.Apology accepted.Stunningly horridious ego desperately seeks a good bashing.Can we oblige? Methinks so.JANE AND CHARLOTTE: We think so, too.I'll call you tomorrow morning, as soon as I'm back in LA.I hope your flight gets seriously delayed.(CHUCKLES)

And I hope your bags end up in Kazakhstan.I'll come back for you at the end of the semester, all right?

Sweetheart, you know I love you.(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

Bye.(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(SIGHING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

DRIPPY: I have to find this CD to play for you guys.There it is.You can borrow them, but only indoors.DRIPPY: Yeah, my mum won't let me wear high heels.JOSIE: I've got to be reserve because I'm not there all the time.KIKl: I heard this on the radio.-Thank you.Jesu Christi, you have not lived!

Ew!

-That's carbs and sugar.None of your bleeping busine.It's an iPhone.Good luck getting a signal.We only have two hot spots that work round here.Maybe you should try entering the 21st century, Buck Rogers.This place is medieval.It's imperative that I make my phone calls.It's pointle anyway.We're only allowed mobiles on weekends.How am I supposed to call my therapist?

(GIRLS CHUCKLING)

She's joking, right? Oh, sweetheart, this is not Beverly Hills, 90210.Just put it away before Matron catches you.-Where's your trunk?What? I might get thirsty.You know, in the UK we have this amazing thing.It's called a tap.Welcome back, girls.Oh, good, staff.How quickly can you get all this stuff cleaned?

-Is she...Like I give a shit.-I'll be gone by then.What are you, mental?

What? She was a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem.The bell's going to go in a minute.Just put your uniform on.(BELL RINGING)

Now!

KATE: You will never get away with that uniform, for start,and FYI, no drinking, no smoking, no alcohol.No fireworks, no dangerous weapons, no illegal drugs.If you have a problem with someone, no random bitching.Structure your point.No Web surfing, no bullying.So, if you behave like an arsehole, we all suffer, so do not get us in your shit

-or we will break you.Hello.What are you, like, prom queen or something?

Kate's got a terrible affliction.You're actually lucky that you don't have it.It's called popularity.Hey, get up.Wait for Mrs Kingsley and the prefects.Screw them.That's physical abuse.I'm calling my lawyer.With what?

Well, hello, Freddie.How kind of you to grace us with your gorgeous presence.And cue Harriet in three, two, one...-Subject's moved in on target.BOTH: Walk, Annabelle.(BOTH CHUCKLING)

DRIPPY: I love that Freddie's always here at the beginning of term.Such a perfect welcome back.-So, who is Freddie?'Cause of her maive hoo-hah?

No.Fraternizing is forbidden.WAITRESS: Here you go.-I can't eat this.Hey, watch the shmere, girlfriend.Two hundred goats died for this.We meet again.How sublime.Learn the rules.When it comes to right of way, there is a hierarchy.Teachers, prefects, scholars, dogs, vermin, Americans.Kate? See to it she falls in line.What is this place? Hogwarts?

-Bedtime, girls.Yes, Drippy.-”Er, leave“?Hundred percent.She's definitely done the miionary and almost certainly the Lebanese fulcrum.-I can tell.How many boys have you shagged?

Well, there was Brandon, eight-pack.Chase, jock.Tyler.Bajillionaire.Derek.He was Kelly Slater's cousin.And, oh, Jack.He was all-around sick.-Christ.Sorry, Drip.It looked lighter on the box.(DRIPPY WHINING)

That is butters.Better not stop me pulling at the social.Honey, eyebrows are the least of your worries.MATRON: Lights out, girls.Everyone into bed.KIKl: Night, Matron.KATE: Night.(DRIPPY GROANING)

-KATE: Hey, switch that off!KATE: Hey!

KATE: What are you doing?

KIKl: Come back.KATE: Get back into bed!

POPPY.;Dear Ruby, oh, my God.Two weeks in this place

and I'm going out of my mind.These girls are all ugly losers who think a mani-pedi

is some kind of Latin greeting.(DRIPPY GROANING)

Mmm!

(SOFTLY)Ew.(BELL RINGING)

-MATRON: Come on!Fire practise!Moore.Poppy Moore, sir.Well, Moore, Poppy Moore, this is a fire practise.-Sorry, I'm new here.Excellent point, sir.(RAP SONG PLAYING)

SARA: Lovely, Harriet.Ew!

Crack on, team.Lovely stick work, Harriet.Hi.-Hello, Mr Nellist.Shouldn't you guys be in bikinis for that?

Hi, Fredster.Dig the car.(CAR REVVING)

-Hello, Moore.Poppy Moore.Don't be so immature.Don't try and hide it, honey.We've got ourselves a SULA.Sweaty Upper Lip Alert.(GIRLS GIGGLING)

(HARRIET WHIMPERS)

How on Earth did Freddie know her name? You may depart.-But, I still have to turn down your bed.Go out and close the door.But you asked to see me.Yes, well, you have to knock before you enter.POPPY: I can't believe it.This is all horse face's fault!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Who is it?

Jesus Christ!

Oh, dear.We were led to believe you had a beard and sandals.Now, we'll have to change that stained-gla window in the school chapel.Look, I didn't start it, it wasn't my fault, and if this were America, I would sue.That girl is a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem.I know perfectly well what happened, Poppy.Then why isn't Harriet here too?

Because, unsurprisingly, it's you I want to talk to.Look, I know it's very difficult being the only new girl in your year.You mean, the only normal girl.-What do you like to read, Poppy?Well, my personal library

seems to be miing the book version of Freaky Friday.So, perhaps you might try this.-Oh, my uncle's producing the film version.Just get on with it.Are you sure?

(POPPY GASPS)

(GASPS)

So sorry.Just can't trust the help these days.Do you have a pa to be out during leons?

-Oh, yeah, I do.It's right here!Whatever that is, I don't think I have one.I don't think I have anything thicker than prosciutto.Thanks.I didn't really come prepared.Didn't figure I'd be here this long.Nothing worse than the only meage you get all day being from the phone company.But Matron took all the phones.No.She took all your phones.She took our decoys.She has no idea that none of them work.We keep our real phones hidden.Here.Call your parents.Call your therapist.Knock yourself out.But why would you do this for me? You think I'm a total ahole.No, you behave like an arsehole.There's a difference.Look, I know that I'm not some Malibu therapist,but I can gue that you're feeling scared and a little bit homesick.Which, in my experience, doesn't actually make you a bad person.Just a normal one.Sweet photo.Is it your mum?

She going to come out and visit?

She died in a car accident when I was 11.Oh.Poppy, I'm so sorry.I know you're not some Malibu therapist, but...KATE: Listen.-Are you serious about getting out of here?Wait.Honour Court?

It's like a trial in front of the whole school

by your peers, your teachers, the Head Girl, and Mrs Kingsley.But I'm telling you, it hardly ever happens.If you really want to get expelled, you can't just rock the boat.You have to drive it up onto the rocks,set fire to the galley and dance on the burning deck.-You have to take it all the way.Right.We'll commence with an entry-level basic favourite.Just to get warmed up.POPPY: It smells like pee in here.KIKl: Does not smell like pee.(GREETING IN FRENCH)

(GIRLS GREETING IN FRENCH)

KIKI.;But it's no good just playing the same old tricks.Try to be as imaginative as poible.Only do things that will get you noticed.Vary your targets as much as you can.And although we'll all be helping you, the important thing to remember...GIRL: Harriet!

KIKI.;...is that you have to get the blame for everything.Run along.Speaking.MR NELLIST: Headphones on, girls.Come on, everybody.Don't run too fast in your flip-flops.We'll just jump in,have a quick paddle about, warm up, then have tea and crumpets, yes?

Yes, I'm in school right now.Regulation uniform.Skirt just below the knee.(SCOFFS)

Of course.They are a simple polyester.Sturdy and practical.No, I have certainly not been naughty.My disciplinary record is exemplary.Are you okay?

SARA.;Get out.Get out!

Please, get out.(SARA WHISTLING)

(GIRLS READING IN FRENCH)

MR NELLIST:(STUTTERING)Yes, thank you very much.That's it.Thank you.KIKI.;If you make enough of a nuisance of yourself...Poppy Moore!

KIKI.;...she will eventually bow to preure, and she'll have to call your father.Naturally I'll call her father, but she's had a difficult time.No, Sara, please.It's all right, dear.-Mr Nellist.HARRIET: People?

People can learn to get used to rotting pig's vomit

-if they live with it for long enough.KATE: Quick.Pull the button off.-Oh, my God.There's a car.The dog that guards the gates of hell.-(WHISPERING)Go, go.Get away.Mrs Kingsley will go ballistic.-And Harriet would have an absolute fit.Cool.Just remember, the point is to get caught.All right, so, what's the deal with the social?

It's the school dance on Saturday night.Traditionally, it's fancy dre.This year, it's Movie Magic.But the only ones who bother to dre up are teachers, morons, and Harriet.I say we dre up fancy.Real fancy.This miion needs to be planned precisely.-Kiki?Poppy Moore.What are you wearing?

You are going into town, not appearing in a window in Amsterdam.-Change immediately.We did.It'll suit you.Promise.(GIRL BARKING)

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

DRIPPY: Well, that's cute.My grandma used to have a dog just like it.KIKl: Poppy, I think your jumper is the cat's pyjamas.BUS CONDUCTOR: Come on, girls.In you go.Hurry up.Upstairs.Don't push.Don't push.Plenty of room.Come on.Here we go.-Come on, Poppy!Jump!Oh, my God, no!

Ew!

GIRLS: Ew!

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

Oh, my God, look.(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)

(DOGS BARKING)

-GIRLS: Oh, hello.To our favourite shop.Cancer research?

Girls, I'm all about finding a cure, but considering I flunked chemistry,I don't know how much help I'm going to be.And BTW, which, FYI, means ”By the way,“

-this is supposed to be shopping time.I take it you flunked geography, too.Oxford Street is in London, my friend.This is your lot.(GIRLS LAUGHING)

KIKl: Josie, take that big bra off my head.JOSIE: No!

-Hey, Kate!What about this for Ascot?Check.If we could just call this stuff vintage and add three zeros to the price tag,I could totally get into it.Perfection.Operation Freddie is well and truly underway.Malibu moment.Remember what I taught you guys?

-Who are we?Oh, my God.It's Tom Cruise.Would you like to say that any louder? I need your help.And I need a back wax and a night with Michael Buble,but we don't always get what we want.Trudy, attend to the brows.Yorkie fan.It's a nice dog, Yorkie.I used to have one once.Wee Phillippe.Got savaged to death by a badger.-Aren't you the souffle that didn't arise.No.How about this? A wee bob.That's fun, isn't it?

-No.No.What about something a little bit more natural?

-Natural?Radical.Okay.Ladies, let's do this.Oh, right now, we're gonna need that, that, that.(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Oh, no, I...Don't look at...That's not mine.Nope.Hey, Mummy.Two strong teas, please, bella, pronto!

(BLOW DRYER WHIRRING)

Don't you look at me like that.Nix that.You ready? Okay.-Et voila.English.-I look like my mom.Sorry.Foot-in-mouth disease.(GIRLS LAUGHING)

-Okay.Time for the juice.Any bright ideas?(WHISPERS)What?

Do you want to buy a carpet tomorrow?

Yes.After I've dropped the kids off at the pool.In my saloon car.Two bottles of Grizinski and one of Donmatsa, please.And two Creme Eggs, please.(SCOFFS)

Why did you order the Creme Eggs, you idiot?

Why did you only get two, Drippy? Now, we've got to quarter them.-He believed us till then.I'm furious.Stupid Drippy.I know.Never mind.Let's go.(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Would you boys like a drink? Now, anybody here? Come on.Hello, hello.Name's Nellist.Roger Nellist.Licence to deejay.Gosh, you look like James Bond.I thought you might like a fruit punch.Oh, I'll have it shaken and not stirred.OLD LADY: Why aren't you dancing? They're all dreed up, waiting for you over there.JANE: Mr Nellist.-Harriet's coming.You may only call me Mrs Darcy

when you are completely, perfectly, incandescently happy.Okay.Cool.Freddie, it's me.Of course, Harriet.(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

KIKI.;Okay, Poppy, let's get Freddie.Lips, hips, hips, and butt.(KATE WHOOPS)

(BOYS WHISTLING)

-Hi.You're awesome.Is she okay? Shall I call an ambulance? You can be sick in my hands if you'd like.She's acting like she's drunk.She should be taken to bed.-Freddie can do the honours.FREDDIE: Come on.She's up to something.Follow them.Report back to me.-So, explain yourself, Mi Moore.You're right.How did you know?

I was Alice in the school play.All boys, before you look at me weirdly.Hey.You so don't need to play hard to get.I'm totally into you.Hey, come on.Calm down.Okay.Leading lady, all-boys school, awkward with intimacy.Cards on the table.Are you gay?

(LAUGHS)

Just English.And I am sober and sensible, and you, my sweet friend,are overexcited and concued.I go back to school tomorrow, but I'll be back on the 18th.How about I see you then?

-Okay.Poppy Moore, get back inside.Immediately.-Tell Harriet.We think not.Nice work, Kate.So, is Operation Freddie well and truly underway?

God knows.Harriet didn't come,so it just depends on whether Tweedledum or Tweedledee decides to tell her.-There's nothing to worry about.GIRLS: Come on.-DRIPPY: Last dance, everybody!Come on!You haven't done it, have you?

No.I mean, I couldn't admit it back home, so I kind of lied, but I'm a total nun.Welcome to the nunnery.GIRLS:(SINGING)I'm loving angels instead

GIRL 1.;Come on, girls.If we lose today we're out of the championships again.Perhaps you'd like to explain last night to me.Kate?

I'm sorry.We just got a little bit carried away.Well, as I understand it, Drippy got totally carried away

by Mr Nellist and Mi Rees-Withers after she lay in a pool of her own vomit.Actually, it was Kate's vomit, Mrs Kingsley.I was just lying in it.I expect better of you two.You know the values we stand for at Abbey Mount.And as for you, Poppy, I don't know whether to be pleased

that you've finally made some friends here, or furious that you've led them astray.Dismied.Not you, Mi Moore.I gave your father my word that I'd try and help you,but I'll be honest, you're making it awfully difficult.You're cleverer and better than this, Poppy.Why don't you give yourself a chance? Try.Try at something.Show him that you can rise to the occasion.Because judging by the outfits you created last night,when you put your mind to something, you can do it.Don't give up on yourself.Because I haven't.And neither has your father.Now off you go.DRIPPY: I really do feel sick.-What did she want?Don't worry, Mi Rees-Withers.We'll play one man down.We don't want to carry dead weight.-No offence.KATE: Kiki!Go, your ball!

POPPY: Shoot, Kiki, shoot!

MRS KINGSLEY.;And the groundbreaking news

is that Abbey Mount is through to the lacroe championship final.POPPY.;Dear Ruby, today's my big date with the headmistre' son, Freddie.Wish me luck, I may be out of here before you know it.Lover boy's waiting outside for you.But remember, you want someone to catch you out.-So stay near school, and good luck.Hey, I thought maybe we could

take a romantic stroll around the school grounds.(LAUGHS)And get caught? Are you out of your mind?

Call me old-fashioned, but I actually do quite like living.I thought you said you could drive.It's not my fault your stupid car doesn't work.-Have you ever thought of changing gears?POPPY: Whatever.(POP SONG PLAYING)

POPPY.;And so I threw the whole lot over the cliff.My dad went mental, as Drippy would say.Drippy says I was crazy,but Kate said she would have done exactly the same in my position.Sorry, chattering away like this.Feel free to shut me up.Well, remind me never to get on your bad side.But the thing is, I'm pretty sure you don't have one.-Here you go, trouble.” Dear Ruby,“you cannot imagine how retarded these idiots are.”They're a bunch of ugly losers who think a mani-pedi is a Latin greeting.“I despise these village idiots,”but I have to pretend to like them so they'll help me get out of this hell hole.“I tried doing it on my own, and it was impoible.”Still, they're so thick they'll never realise.“I'll be out of this asylum by the end of term.”

I didn't write that.Hardly any of it, just the loser part.-But that was weeks ago.It was taped to the door.You're a seriously horridious cow.POPPY: Come on, guys.-You have to believe me.You can't believe I actually wrote this.All we did was to try to make your life here happier, Poppy.I thought we were friends.(DOOR CLOSING)

POPPY.;So, all I have to do is hook up with the headmistre' son,and it's a sure thing that they expel me.He's a total English dweeb.Pretty gro but an easy target.Give me a week, tops.(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

I can explain.POPPY.;Please, I really need to talk to you.Can't right now.You know, the limo's coming in five,and I have nada to wear.-Where are you going?Love you more.Sorry, Roddy.Couldn't get rid of her.What was I saying?

-Roddy? Babe?Help me get everyone up before it spreads.KATE: Josie.Josie, get up.Josie, there's a fire.Get up.(FIRE ALARM RINGING)

Fire!Fire, everyone get up!

Fire!It's a real fire!Get out of bed!Get up, it's a fire.This isn't a practise.You guys, get up.Come on, darling, get up.It's a fire, it's not a drill.(SIRENS WAILING)

KATE: Josie...JOSIE: No, I'm not getting up!

KATE: Get up, we're on fire!

It's a real fire!Please, everybody get up!

-Phoebe Faircloff.Here.DRIPPY: Let me out!Let me out!

(DRIPPY BANGING ON DOOR)

FIREMAN 1: Check the preure on tank three.FIREMAN 2: Charlie, take the first position.-Daisy Bevin?Here.Jennifer Logan.Jennifer? Has anyone seen Drippy?

Come on, girls!Who was the last person to see Drippy?

Freezer.Drippy's in the freezer!

MRS KINGSLEY: Poppy, come back.-MRS KINGSLEY: Stay back, girls.Don't know yet.We're lucky, could've been a lot worse.GIRL 1: Well done, Poppy.GIRL 2: You saved us.You were brilliant.-Hey.I believe this is yours.Didn't mean to.I thought I'd stopped it.I swear.I don't understand.I heard footsteps, and then I put it out.I was just so upset at everything, and I wish I hadn't done it.I really wish you hadn't done it, too.(SIGHING)

MRS KINGSLEY.;Someone here knows exactly what happened last night.What we're clear on is that this fire was no accident.If you have the sense to own up, no legal charges will be filed.If not, it will be paed on to the local authorities.You have until the end of the day to come forward.POPPY.;Dear Freddie, how can I begin to say I'm sorry?

You are good and honest and true, and, well, I'm the opposite.But I'm learning.So now I'm going to do the right thing.And if it means I have to leave here,I just want you to know, I promise you I never wrote that e-mail.For a moment there, yeah, you were my ticket out of here.But then I got to know you.I have never felt this way before about anyone

and I really need you to know that.(EXHALES)

MRS KINGSLEY: Come in.Oh, what can I do for you, Poppy?

It's what I used to start it.It was an accident, and I thought I put it out.But I gue not.Obviously not.Oh, Poppy.You realise what this means, don't you?

-Will I be expelled?Please.Give it a rest.POPPY: Mom?

-Hey, I've been looking for you.What deal?

-That you won't fry my head.Yeah.She was my mom.She went to this school.I didn't even know.Well, gue it's time to face the music now.(GIRLS ARGUING)

Josie, I'm never wrong.When am I ever wrong?

You're wrong when we did the math challenge.Hey!She's confeed.She's going to Honour Court this afternoon.-That's brave.Who?

It will henceforth be our job to objectively

and dispaionately ascertain what happened that fateful night

that will hence to forth long blight the memory of this proud institution.And when you think about it, Poppy would never say “term.”

She calls it a bloody samosa or something.-“Semester.”Right.Sustained.Poppy, were you in the cook's sitting room on the night of the fire?

Yes, I was.-Were you there with permiion?Did you intend on starting a fire?

-Not really.Harriet.It means no, I had no intention of actually doing it.-Was anyone else with you?I was.-GIRL 1: I was.GIRL 2: I was.GIRLS: I was.-I was.HARRIET: Stop it!

-GIRL 3:(WHISPERS)Come on.Harriet, you're going down, biatch.This is a conspiracy.You can't expel the whole year,-and they know that.Not now, Jane.-Have respect for court protocol.-What lighter, Harriet?

Jesus, Charlotte, how daft can you poibly be?

That ridiculous “I heart LA” lighter of hers.She left it behind, for God's sakes.Except, how do you know that, Harriet? No one's mentioned a lighter before.What? Yes, they have.

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